OK, one more Valentine’s-themed song. I wrote this song in 1987. It’s an instrumental – no lyrics – but it does tell a story. A story of young love… hope and sorrow… and all that good stuff :-).
I was a young adult, haplessly getting to know myself while also trying to navigate love and intimacy. At that point in life, I had only had one girlfriend – Miriam. We met a few years earlier, in our junior year of high school. We fell in love pretty hard and fast but couldn’t quite figure out how to make it last. After dating on and off for 6 months, we decided to go our separate ways.
A couple of years passed, and Mim & I reconnected. Neither of us had found lasting romantic success, but our love for each other was still strong. So it seemed maybe we were destined to be together. And being the ripe old age of 19, we were older and wiser than in high school – surely we could make it work this time?
But love can be complicated and confusing. HUMANS can be complicated and confusing. And sometimes we shoot ourselves in the foot. I was so happy to have reconnected with the one gal who really loved me, and it seemed so promising – but I just wasn’t mentally ready to be in a relationship. Too confused, too flighty, too uncommunicative… And so tragically, we broke up once again. I felt like a fool.
And that’s when I wrote this song. Alone in my room late at night, desperately sorry to have hurt someone I loved, but still somehow hopeful for the future. Without words, the melody tells a story of sadness, hope, heartbreak, excitement, vulnerability… all that good stuff :-).
Miriam and I remained friends. We both did eventually find “success” in our love lives, and have kept in touch over the years. The love that brought us together never died, it just evolved into a life-long friend connection. But I will always hold a special place in my heart for the 16 year old girl who took a chance on being intimate with this lost little boy, and showed me the beauty of real love that is possible only when you let down your guard.
Thanks to Karen Bergmann for adding a beautiful cello track to this recording, thereby upping the melancholy factor :-).